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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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queenieeegoldstein

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

queenieeegoldstein

image

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

inter-upted-deactivated20220717

Thank you for agreeing to take the Pre-Employment Assessment Test. Please answer all questions as truthfully as you can.

mpregcraig

QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?

QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?

QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I have clinical depression.

- I’m ready to be productive!

QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I try to do things to the best of ability.

- I am willing to bleed for you.

QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?